OK I lied, because I have a couple more Fielder-related links. Brennan Boesch is as excited as this little guy, except about hitting in front of Cabrera and Fielder. Speaking of Cabrera, Miggy's looking ripped. And no, you're not crying about this one, you just had a bug fly into your eye. But seriously, pass the Kleenex.
The Washington Wizards fired head coach Flip Saunders on Tuesday. Opinions range from "fire everybody but John Wall" to "Sam Cassell needs to be our coach." The Wizards' owner even chimed in, sans the Comic Sans (but enough semicolons to make your English teacher turn over in her grave).
Life lessons: don't spray a dude the size of Ndamukong Suh with silly string if you want to keep your job (or your life, for that matter).
Alex Ovechkin is skipping the NHL All-Star Game and The Chief is not happy about it. He points to a historical precedent to explain why. Speaking of missing important events, Tim Tebow will not be playing in the Pebble Beach Pro-Am sponsored by 12 companies that I don't feel like copying and pasting right now.
Speaking of drunk, Pat Sajak is.
With Starbucks starting to sell beer and wine on a limited basis, I finally have a use for that Starbucks card I got for Christmas... in 2008.