Brooke Hundley, production assistant at ESPN... Steve Phillips is your father.

No, not really, but he could be, and strangely enough, I think she would love that.  It wouldn't surprise me one bit if this chick has some serious daddy issues.  This broad is fucked three ways toward the weekend, and you want to know what?

Steve Phillips digs it.

He digs it so much that he didn't just have a mistake, one-night stand with the stocky ESPN employee that looks more like an NFL linebacker, he had a deliberate, lengthy, all-out affair.

What's this world coming to? What was Steve Phillips thinking?!? This guy threw his family and possibly his career away for Danny Devito's kid sister.

And this hoot from The Big Lead:

Phillips is an unfailingly nice guy, but it wouldn’t surprise them if Phillips got involved with a production assistant because everyone gets involved with production assistants. The star culture at ESPN helps create these situations - the on-air talented is surrounded by attractive, starry-eyed 20-somethings fresh out of college, leading to lots of potentially sticky situations.

If Brooke Hundley is an "attractive, starry-eyed 20-something fresh out of college," then Jamie Lee Curtis isn't half a man.  Hundley looks like the head coach of a high school softball team.  And on top of it, she's insane!

She created multiple fake screen names to talk with Phillips' teenage son while posing as a classmate to keep tabs on Phillips and learn more about the family.  She frequently visited their "mansion on a hill," as she referred to it, just to gaze at it with her "starry-eyes."  She repeatedly sent each member of the family text messages, phone calls, facebook messages, etc.  Then, the most fucked up of all fucked ups (aside from the affair itself), she sent a drawn-out letter to Steve Phillips' wife confessing everything, authenticating it by revealing she knows all about the birth mark on Phillips' penis that we all wanted to know about.

Call up Glenn Close (forget the age, can she play chubby?), we have the plot of Fatal Attraction's sequel developing right before our eyes. (Everyone.used.that.analogy.  And I mean, every.single.source).

Let this be a lesson to you older, relatively handsome, rich, public figures who are thinking about having an affair.

Don't.

And if you do, be prepared to live in collywobbles, with the diarrhea shitstorm that was today on the internet and your life that inevitably ensues.

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