I came up with an alteration to a Major League quote after the Tigers scored four runs in the top of the first, fitting because we're playing the Indians:
Justin Masterson: "If you score four runs off me in the first, I'll let you name me."
Tigers scored four runs: I'd, uh, call you the Masturbator.
I didn't know Carlos Guillen would take it literally and jacked his little weenus all over the place.
Hitting just .171 in the month of September entering the game, and some of the fans calling for his benching, Guillen gave the "hand signal" to any doubters and got off on the Indians pitching, going 3-4 with 2 HRs and 4 RBIs. If Rod Allen saw "The Hangover" I imagine he would have defintely said, "Not at the table, Carlos," amongst other general silliness. It should also be noted that Guillen's second home run was right handed, in just his 2nd at bat this season from that side of the plate.
If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about then, fine, here is the scene:
Detroit as a whole did the dirty on the Indians tonight, as they put up 11 runs on 15 hits. Miguel Cabrera had two hits, his 31st HR of the year, and three RBIs to push his total to 96. On the defensive side of things, Rick Porcello picked up his 14th win of the season by going five formidable innings.
With the 11-3 victory, Detroit's magic number shrinks to nine, Carlos Guillen's number.