No, Garrett Olson was not one of the cute baby girls flip-flopped every episode in "Full House." He has no relation to the actual Olsen twins because, as you can see, the Olsen twins have an 'e' in their name and not an 'o.' That being said, you can't possibly believe that FSN Detroit overlooked the correlation. Color commentator, Rod Allen twisted it around to say that G. Olson must have a twin on the team in reference to the fact that Olson sometimes starts (and gets shelled) and sometimes comes out of the pen (and does well). Is this to say that one Olsen twin is better than the other?
Well, either way, maybe FSN Detroit's pun worked, because just like the Olsen twins' careers, Garrett Olson's night ended early. Except he didn't perform well at all, as he lasted just 1.1 innings after giving up a "hit parade," and 7 runs. In the end, Detroit walked away with a 9-7 victory.
Should I end by mentioning that I was a big "Full House" fan? Nah.....
I was looking at ESPN earlier today for a little more information on the Ben Roethlisberger sexual assault allegations and, to my surprise, I found nothing. Not even a titter. No mention of it whatsoever, on the front page or NFL page. Apparently Big Ben and the fact that he will be in a TV show with Shaq and Albert Pujols is much more newsworthy than a huge sexual assault lawsuit.
When you have Super Bowl quarterback involved in a lawsuit, it's probably worth mentioning on the news source that is tabbed as the Worldwide Leader in Sports.
Now, it was brought to my attention that ESPN has a policy against posting civil complaints with no criminal proceedings. Check out this tweet from Jemele Hill an ESPN columnist and reporter:
After a long discussion with my fellow law school friend, this basically means it's a civil matter between two private people right now and ESPN has a policy against reporting this type of information. As my buddy mentioned, athletes probably get sued all the time, so would it really be worth it to mention every single one of them? That'd basically be giving anyone who sues an athlete their fifteen minutes of "fame," and make ESPN a courtroom docket of lawsuits.
If the government decides to step in and bring criminal charges against Big Ben, then ESPN will most likely report it. Right now, this is nothing more than a civil lawsuit brought forth by one private party (Andrea McNulty) against another private party (Ben Roethlisberger). Until it escalates, I don't think we'll be seeing any Big Ben news on ESPN. I don't necessarily agree with it given how this particular lawsuit has blown up amongst all the other media outlets, but that appears to be the case here.
.... 40-years ago today.
One small step for man, one great line from Dumb and Dumber.no comments
This is one of those circumstances where you see it, laugh your ass off, and, as your laugh trails off, you say "I wish I thought of that." Then, almost immediately after, wonder how the hell someone was able to get away with bringing in an inflatable penis to a nationally televised event.
Well, one woman did think of it, got it in, and it made for a pretty hilarious video clip and story at The American Century Championship at Lake Tahoe on Sunday.
Big ups to Busted Coverage for busting out this inflatable penis coverage. I had to post the YouTube video myself, for D4L readers, of NBC mentioning Michael Jordan's stroke, instantaneously followed by a giant inflatable penis bobbing over his left shoulder. Classic.
Here are the Monday links:
Big Ben or Rasho? [Motown String Music]
Grand Kids Charity Wine Tasting Event on Thursday [Curtis Granderson]
Kurt Wermers was academically ineligible at U-M [Freep]
Tom Watson's win would have been one of the top 5 sports stories ever [Jamie Samuelsen's Blog]
Judging Joe Dumars as the Pistons rebuild [Full Court Press]
Dude, you just fell 35-feet from a gondola [Club Seat Sports]
Ocho Cinco thinks PTI guys need extenze [Sharapova's Thigh]
Celebrating 15-years of Pulp Fiction NFL Style [Fan Sided]
American League Psycho: Yankees style [Yanks Go Yard]
Formula 2 Driver Killed in Freak Crash [Sports Rubbish]
Did homer derby mess up Mauer's swing? He's only hitting *.358* now [Babes Love Baseball]
The excuses are like buttholes-- everyone has one and they stink. I don't care if it was the first series back from the All-Star break, the Tigers faced two of the Yankees top pitchers, and, welp, we're still in first place; the Tigers need offensive help, fast, or else they are going to be living up to the name "pretenders" and not "contenders" when it's all said and done.
Okay, I just took a deep breath.
Honestly, if the Tigers were in so much trouble they wouldn't be in first place through 90 games and surely wouldn't rank in the top half of the Major Leagues in batting average and top 11 in runs scored. But the fact of the matter is, they are severely lacking on the offensive side. Time and time again, the Tigers fail to come up with the clutch hit, which, ultimately costs them ball games. That's exactly why Detroit failed to bust open a huge lead over the Twins and White Sox in the Central Division race back in June when they had several opportunities to do so. Instead, now, they only lead by a Mischa Barton slim 1.5 games.
This weekend was just a glaring reminder of how inefficient this lineup is when they have runners on the pond. Detroit received next to zero big base hits, scoring just five runs in three games. Detroit was 1-26 with runners in scoring position this weekend and that, my friends, is the opposite of execution. It's hitting with the very same, weightless, broom sticks the Yankees used to sweep up Detroit in the Bronx.
So what do the Tigers need to do?
They could sit on it, Manetti, and hope the same, out of their minds, pitching can carry them to the playoffs. That might be the economically right thing to do, but if I were Dave Dombrowski, I'd be thinking to myself, with the Tigers being in first place and a chance to get back to the post-season, "I'll never sit on it, Manetti. Ever," and go out and get some help. Mike Illitch has been on record as saying he'll do whatever it takes to help this team get better, so I don't see the Tigers sitting on what they have as the trade deadline approaches.
The other theory is that Carlos Guillen is coming back and could serve as their "trade," that adds a bat to the lineup. Jason Beck, Tigers' beat writer, says as much in his most recent post on his blog.
While Jim Leyland says that he'd be more than happy having a Guillen return serve as "their trade," I can't fully believe that. Remember, the decrepit Guillen was doing his best Mario Mendoza impression through his first 24 games this season and given his nagging injury problems in the past few years, he should forever have a giant red flag next to his name when "healthy."
Some of the other names I've heard floating around the trade rumor mill are Adam Dunn and Brad Hawpe (both reportedly not on the block), Matt Holliday, Josh Willingham, and Austin Kearns. A lot of these guys, on paper, don't look like they'd be much of an upgrade over our current OF situations. However, a fresh Louisville in the lineup could go a long way in terms of sparking some of our underachieving hitters. The same argument can apply to Carlos Guillen.
Either way, I think it's safe to say that these Tigers need help, and fast. I'm sure you've been wondering about the title of this post. Look no further, I researched the batting averages from Detroit Tigers lineups over the past 10-years and this year's team is the worst its been since 2003. Every single Tigers player in the lineup aside from Miguel Cabrera and a small sample sized Marcus Thames is hitting below .263. That's CurtIs Granderson, Placido Polanco, Magglio Ordonez, Clete Thomas, Ryan Raburn, Don Kelly, Josh Anderson, Ramon Santiago, Gerald Laird, Brandon Inge, and Adam Everett, any player you can think of plugging into the Tigers lineup day in and day out, all hitting below .263. In 2003, the Tigers had three hitters above that mark, but did not have anyone hit above .300 like they do this year with team batting average savior, Miguel Cabrera. If that's not an indiciation of "help needed," then I don't know what else is.
I felt as if someone wrote some, and I emphasize some, pretty decent jokes for Samuel L. Jackson, but he was the wrong guy to present them at the ESPY's on Sunday night (taped earlier). There was the awful zinger about Kobe potentially dunking on Lebron and Nike having the videos being confiscated, a cheesy Danica Patrick "what a catch" comment, uber-cheesy Venus/Serena Williams win a lot of tennis tournaments joke, and, probably the worst of all, was Jackson's introduction to the show where he went down the front row and took his own picture with some of the celebrities, while they sat there with blank stares wondering if that was really Samuel L's grand entrance.
There were some decent opening moments, though. For example, talking about Phelps being able to smoke his competition in the pool, applauding Mark Sanchez for leaving USC and taking a pay cut to play in the NFL, and even the played out "what a black man can't enjoy hockey?" crack gave me a good chuckle. Those were pretty good. Although, my smile quickly went to a frown when ESPN flashed this ill-advisedly fashioned douche on the screen:
Tebow looks like Jim Tressel's gay son. That's what I'd call a triple no-no. Daddy's not happy:
Anyway, I didn't exactly love Samuel L's obligatory "denigrate anything that has to do with Detroit or the Lions" joke, either:
"Matthew Stafford is here," Jackson said. "Once you actually play for the Lions, they stop inviting you."
We just went 0-16 and that's the best you could come up with? Child please.
Overall, a pretty decent ESPYs as there were a lot of great moments in sports in the past year. I give Samuel L. Jackson a generous B- and the overall show a B+.
Lastly, what's a little Samuel L. Jackson commentary without this famous NSFW clip:
The best news about the Pistons agreeing to a 2-year deal, worth roughly $6 million with power forward slash center, Chris Wilcox is that it means Detroit will no longer be pursuing Glen "Big Baby" Davis and Drew Gooden (Scott Pollard's African American brother). That's not all, though.
What most basketball people don't realize is that Joe Dumars may have just found himself another under the radar player that will make him look like a sheer genius, Lloyd.
Wilcox is an athletic, and young, big man who can bang and straight up play. A few years ago he averaged nearly 14 points per game and just under 8 rebounds per game. Astute observers might point out his less than stellar 08-09 campaign, however look at the teams he has been playing on. He has journeyed from the Clippers-to the Sonics, Thunder, and Knicks; all mediocre-to-terrible squads. Hopefully, with a fresh start in Detroit, Wilcox will return to his 14/8-esque form, if not better.
Usually, "let your hair down" means to relax and do what you want. Now that Wilcox is on a pretty talented basketball team, perhaps he can "let his hair down" and play like he's capable of. After all, he'll be entering his prime and alongside some pretty quality players for once.
I remember, what now seems like a long time ago, Detroit brought in a no-name guy and he let his hair turn into the catch phrase "fear the 'fro." Maybe, just maybe, Wilcox will let his braids go and turn himself into the "fear the 'fro" type player Joe Dumars acquired years ago. If you don't remember correctly, that player (Ben Wallace) was pretty insignificant at the time, too.
Time will only tell just how significant this signing is for the Pistons.
So the Tigers lost their second game in a row on Saturday in a pitcher's duel between CC Sabathia and Justin Verlander. In the 9th inning with Mariano Rivera closing the door, naturally, Derek Jeter executed his patented running to his right, jump throw to get Brandon Inge at first base. It was a pretty amazing play, even a Tigers fan like myself can admit. However, no one liked it more than his teammate admirer, Alex Rodriguez. Just look at him as he goes through the post game team high five line, anxiously awaiting to get to Jeter:
It's to no one's surprise how he has been tabbed as having, shall we say, not straight tendencies.