Prince Fielder was scratched from the Tigers' lineup Thursday afternoon due to a flat tire [via Freep]:

“Prince had a big-time flat tire on the turnpike, and they could only put one of those little tires on that’s good for 50 miles. He wasn’t sure he could make it down and back on that tire, so I told him to stay home,” Leyland said. “He got up on the turnpike by Orlando, so he wasn’t very far away. He called once to say that he’d broken down and had called somebody to take care of it. When he called again, they came out, but they only put that little tire on. ... I didn’t want to take a chance."

Yeah, Fielder needs the big tires.

This is my second favorite 2013 Tigers Spring Training scratch, with my favorite being Jhonny Peralta's bout with clam chowder. I'm glad both are going to avoid the DL. 

Oh, by the way, Fielder's replacement Matt Tuiasosopo went yaya. 

With Opening Day just weeks away, the Tigers just added a major acquisition to their farm system today. 

According to the Detroit News, Single-A affiliate West Michigan Whitecaps have announced that the Baco will be the team’s everyday bacon-wrapped taco.

In an interview made up for this post, Tigers GM David Dombrowski said:

"Signing the Baco so late into spring training was huge. He’s got all the tools to make it in the Big Leagues: seasoned ground beef, cheese, veggies. But his biggest strength, of course, is his bacon. We’re definitely going to be watching Baco with a close eye this summer. If there’s any food that can live up to the hype – it’s Baco. I wouldn’t be surprised if you saw him crunching his way into Comerica Park at some point."

And a spokesperson for Baco had this to say:

"Baco is ecstatic to be a part of the Tigers organization. Growing up on a pig farm in the Midwest, he knows just how much damage he can do in that hearty Grand Rapids food lineup. We probably should have worked in a ‘Free Angioplasty’ clause in his contract [chuckles]."

(Photo courtesy of Emily Zoladz, MLIVE)

ALMOST. 

via USA Today

"Justin Verlander sent down to Triple-A" seemed like a mean, seriously misleading and untrue headline, so I went with the above instead.

The Tigers' ace is going to pitch a game for the Mud Hens on Saturday to get his regular work in; that's all [via MLIVE].

Justin Verlander will pitch for Toledo at 1 p.m. Saturday against Syracuse, the Triple-A affiliate of the Washington Nationals, in a game played on one of the back fields at Tiger Town in Lakeland.

Nothing to see here.

(DICK SHOT!)

image via Extra Mustard

Hi, and welcome to the Lions’ Offseason! Can I start you out with some complimentary Kool-Aid? Would you like grape, black cherry or your usual tropical punch?

As Lions fans know all too well, the Spring offseason typically comes with a heaping ladle full of the proverbial Kool-Aid. And we slurp it from the start of free agency, through the end of OTA’s all the way to Week 1. Some say it’s the best time of year to be a Lions’ fan.

Well, you might as well inject it into us intravenously, because optimism is at an all-time high.

Exactly how I imagined it:

The Jim Leyland Breakfast vine.co/v/bdWL97YHFXF fb.me/2ecaotblP

— Carl Skanberg (@CarlSkanberg) March 13, 2013

via USA Today:

An online conversation from Wednesday afternoon:

"Did you see the Jim Leyland breakfast video on Vine?"

"If it's not a half-pack of Marlboro Reds and two gallons of coffee, then I'm not clicking."

"You should click then."

And now you should share it.

I don't care who he dated, I love the Lions picking up Reggie Bush. #nfl

— Jeff Daniels (@Jeff_Daniels) March 13, 2013

I love the move, too, but it kind of matters who he dates. Seriously, the Kardashians are stupid attention whores and a distraction. It's no coincidence Bush's three worst seasons came while he was dating (and getting cheated on by) Kim. 

BOOM. RT @profootballtalk: Lions and Reggie Bush agrees to terms, according to NFL source.

— Detroit4lyfe (@Detroit4lyfe) March 13, 2013

It's a four-year deal, and there's a no Kim Kardashian clause, I presume.

I was souring on Bush before his last two seasons with the 'phins, where he played 31 of 32 games and averaged 4.7 yards per carry. More so, he's a threat on the edges and out of the backfield in the passing game.

Lions also re-signed Chris Houston, signed former Seahawks DT Jason Jones (Southfield, EMU), and are apparently still in negotiations with safety Glover Quin. UPDATE: They signed Quin, too. No biggie.

Rollin' with my homies:

I'm obviously a little obsessed with the Lions' kickers situation. 

But I'm happy the Lions will have a 43-year-old leg doing the kickoffs, extra points and field goals for at least another season. Yes, Jason Hanson is coming back.

Or so say the sources, assuming a deal can get worked out:

Lions K Jason Hanson has decided to return for another season, provided he can work out a deal with Detroit.

— Mike Garafolo (@MikeGarafolo) March 12, 2013

H/T POD

As if losing by a combined 45 points in two nights didn't make them feel small enough, the Pistons had to endure cold showers in Utah after Monday night's loss [via MLIVE]:

When you're cold, you're cold, and the Detroit Pistons, already down two starters Monday, found an additional irritant when they didn't have hot water for their post-game showers.

That truly added insult to injury.

TRULY. Penises probably shrunk all the way down to just above the average sizes for human males. It would have been extremely humiliating if any of the well-endowed media had seen, I'm sure. It's just a good thing Lawrence Frank wasn't there - he may have been mistaken for a woman.